Unhelpful thinking styles and how to start changing them

Have you ever thought “I can never do anything right,” or “The whole day is ruined because…”? These are examples of unhelpful thinking styles. This type of thinking is unhelpful because it is based on biased thinking and emotions and can negatively impact several areas of a person’s life. If you have these types of thoughts, don’t worry â€" you’re not alone. Most everyone has thinking that falls in these lines at some point or another.

The following are some of the unhealthy thinking styles adapted from Psychiatrist Dr. David Burn’s book “Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy.”

All or nothing thinking or black-and-white thinking â€" This is like looking at a coin and saying there are only two sides. Truthfully, a coin has several sides to it, which include the heads, tails and the side edge. An example of this type of thinking would be, “If I can’t be perfect, I am a failure.” This type of thinking sets us up for failure, believing things can only be one way or the other when there are several variations in between.

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Labeling â€" This happens with thoughts like “I’m such an idiot” or “That person is a real loser.” We often are our own worst critics. And labeling ourselves will only drag us down into a dark depressing hole. When we label others, we make an overall assumption about the person vs. their behaviors and may be missing out on an opportunity to know who that person really is.

Jumping to conclusions/ Mind Reading â€" This occurs when we think we know what others are thinking or think we can predict the future. Assumptions can be made based upon someone’s body language, but we can’t read their thoughts. And an assumption is just that, an assumption. We won’t know what a person is thinking unless we ask. As far as predicting the future, we may have certain outcomes that are common for us, but it does not solidify that we will know exactly what will happen in the future. This type of thinking can become self-fulfilling if a person acts according to how they are thinking or feeling.

Mental Filter â€" This happens when we don’t acknowledge what was positive about an event or day. Instead we may focus only what went wrong. It is important that we can acknowledge the positives during the day no matter how insignificant we think they might be. We can train our brains to be good at complaining and only seeing the negative. The same is true about training your brain to notice the positives.

Catastrophizing â€" A big fancy word that basically means making a mountain out of a mole hill or making things worse than they really are. Minimizing falls into this category as it is the opposite, making a little deal out of something that is a big deal.

Emotional reasoning â€" This is a type of thinking that happens when we think our emotions dictate truth. Emotions are important but if we assume that we are morons because we feel embarrassed, then we are falling into a thinking error. Feeling embarrassment does not equate to someone being an idiot.

Personalization â€" This occurs when a person blames themselves for things that are not their fault or contrarywise blaming others for something that is their fault. People are free to make their own decisions and believe it or not, as an individual we don’t hold power to control others’ decisions, only our own.

Overgeneralizing â€" Ever been to a grocery store when it is busy and there is a shortage of cashiers? A person might be quick to say, “This place is always busy, there are never enough cashiers.” The truth is, the store might be busy a lot and there might be a shortage of cashiers sometimes, but words like never and always are not true to the situation and create a biased perspective.

When we can notice these types of thinking patters, we can stop and begin to change the way we think with practice. Inviting rational thinking by thinking about what is realistic and asking questions about why we think and feel these ways is the start to positive change and rational thinking.

Daniel Park is an LCSW, native to Idaho and has worked in mental health for over 10 years. He got his bachelor’s and master’s degree at Boise State University.