How To Kill Stress, Boost Testosterone, And Have Better Sex — Starting Today

Gentlemen, start your engines!

There's a problem with how modern, western society is built up. And it's working against us. We're stressed out. We're increasingly socially isolated from each other. We are the most medicated adult cohort in human history.

Our sedentary lifestyles, status-seeking culture, and improper food intake (which leaves us feeling sick, anxious, and depressed) are hitting us right where it hurts: Our sex lives. But you can learn how to deal with stress, how to boost testosterone, and start having better sex.

It might sound like an over-promise/under-deliver kind of headline straight off the cover of a men's magazine, but I'm going to systematically help you achieve all of these three goals — all in one, big, beefy article. Gentlemen, start your engines!

Chronic stress keeps our cortisol (a major stress hormone) levels high and is a major drain on our sex drive and overall sense of vitality. So in order to boost our testosterone levels and maintain a healthy sex drive, we have to address the elephant in the room first.

I've identified four key areas that seem to have the biggest effect on how stress shows up in our lives. These are the four major pillars that deconstruct stress in our lives.

How to deal with stress...

Having trouble sleeping? Chronic tension in your neck, back, and body? Feeling irritable and anxious? Not after putting some work into these four areas of your life. Here's how to deal with stress to make your daily life easier.

RELATED: How To Get In The Mood, Even When You're Seriously Stressed Out

1. Prioritize better sleep.

A long-term lack of sleep is one of the fastest ways to get stressed, upset your hormonal balance (low quality sleep can reduce your testosterone levels in as little as one week), and mess up your immune system.

Studies have shown that people who consistently sleep for less than six hours per night are more prone to craving high-fat, high carbohydrate foods (leading to an even bigger downward spiral in messing with your testosterone levels).

Before you start stressing out about your lack of sleep, take solace in the fact that there are things that you can do to prioritize higher quality sleep more often.

2. Stop working at least two hours before bed.

Night time is for rest. You have no qualms about plugging in your cell phone when it needs to recharge, so why do you feel guilty taking time to allow yourself to recharge? If you're self-employed and/or work from home often, make a mental commitment to let go of work at least two hours before bed.

3. Stick to no technology after 10 PM.​

Not only should you avoid doing things that make your brain think it's still expected to be in work-mode, you should also get off of any and all digital devices near your bedtime (ideally at least an hour before you plan on falling asleep). This means no phones, tablets, laptops, or whatever else gets invented. No digital light. It messes with your sleep patterns and upsets your dopamine production to be staring at a blue light so close to bed time.

Yes, there are apps/programs/blue light blocking glasses that keep you from "ingesting" blue light with your eyes, but just the act of being on a digital device keeps your mind in a "I need to be 'on'" mode and messes with your sleep. So, no tech.

Trust me, your day to day stress levels will thank you. Instagram and Facebook won't miss you. Just go to bed.

4. Journal out any thoughts on to paper.

Do you find that your mind starts racing as soon as your head hits the pillow? Mine definitely does. Keep a journal/notepad on your bedside table so that you can brain dump any random thoughts that come to you close to bed time.

You get the benefit of externalizing your internal thoughts (and being free of them, so to speak, since they live outside of you now and you get to let go of them) while also having something to record your thoughts with that aren't a digital device. Win-win.

Are you afraid that you'll forget a really good idea, or lose something that you need to remember for later? Remember the old Chinese proverb: "The palest ink is better than the best memory."

5. Keep your room at a cool temperature.

We sleep better in cool rooms. Cool means cool, not freezing. You shouldn't be shivering and going into a hypothermic state. Just cool enough that you can sleep naked and feel grateful that you have a blanket draped over your body.

6. Read fiction.

Reading before bed is a great way to become more sleepy, but you have to be reading the right thing.

If you're reading a non-fiction book that you can justify as something that benefits you in your career path, then you're not really resting... you're just being sly about working right up until you turns the lights off. When going about picking your bedtime books, aim for entertainment, not education.

7. Keep your phone out of your bedroom.

I already mentioned keeping your digital devices out of your bedroom, but this is so important (and so often ignored) that it deserves its own section. Having your phone within arms reach of your pillow keeps you stimulated, stressed, and generally feeling shittier. We aren't machines. Our brains need down time.

Ideally, keep your phone out of your room entirely and use a dedicated alarm clock if you need to wake up in the morning at a certain time. If you can't be bothered to buy an alarm clock, then at least plug in your phone (in airplane mode) across the room in an outlet that you would have to stand up to get access to.

The harder it is for you to get to your phone from your bed, the more resistance you'll have to getting up and checking it while you're trying to sleep.

8. Slow down your movements.

Many people struggle with getting to sleep because what they do and think while trying to sleep gets in their way. If you lie down in bed and you frustratedly toss and turn and you think to yourself, "Here I go again... another night of having trouble getting to sleep. I'm so bad at this," then you'll inevitably prove yourself right.

There are certain instances where I believe in the power of behavioral therapy, and sleep is one of the major ones. So even if you believe, at an identity level, that you are someone who is bad at getting to sleep, just try something out the next time you're trying to get to sleep.

Slow down your movements to an exaggeratedly slow pace and run a more soothing dialogue in your mind. If you have to turn over, turn over slower than you've ever turned over. If you have to itch your leg, have it take five seconds for your hand to reach that itch. Slooowwwww dowwwwwwn.

As for your inner dialogue, in a slow, calm voice, repeat thoughts along the lines of, "I'm so glad to finally be in bed... this is such a ridiculously comfortable bed, and I've been looking forward to being in it all day... I can barely lift my head I'm so sleepy."

Slow down your movements and slow down your thoughts, and you might be nodding off faster than you have in years. Seriously, try it out.

9. Move often.

Remember, you are an animal. And animals feel cagey, stressed, and anxious when they aren't allowed to roam free. If you have a job that is fairly inactive and you never exercise, it's going to take a toll on your mental, emotional, physical, and sexual health.

Moving doesn't have to be complicated. Walk in the morning for half an hour. Go to the gym a couple of times per week. Stand up and do ten air squats every half hour when you're sitting at your computer for lengthy periods of time.

Keep it simple. Move your body. Your mood will thank you.

10. Play more.

One of the biggest differences in the average adult's life compared to the average child's life is the volume of time that we spend playing. Prioritize a sense of playfulness in your life. Crack jokes with strangers, play pranks on your friends and look for opportunities to laugh.

If you want to deep-dive and really prioritize play into your life, set a weekly play date in your calendar that is non-negotiable. Do whatever seems appealing to you. Play music with friends. Bounce on trampolines. Play tag in the park. Doodle in coloring books.

You know that it's good for you, and you always enjoy it once you're doing it. So do it.

11. Question your lifestyle choices and habits.

The cumulative effects of the above tips will only do so much if there are underlying lifestyle choices and habits that are keeping you stressed and anxious. Our emotions are intelligent. Our body is on our side. Our felt senses come online to warn us of certain things.

We might be getting the signal of "You aren't happy in this relationship" or, "This type of work makes you miserable" or, "These friends are draining you more than they add anything to your life," and we suffer to the degree that we ignore these vitally important signals from our body.

Do work that you love. Stop hanging out with people who drain you. And only remain in intimate relationships with those who cherish, honor, and love you as you can do for them.

RELATED: How Your Poor Body Image Is Killing Your Sex Drive (And How To Fix It)

How to boost testosterone...

Now that we've identified and addressed some of the major culprits of things in your life that are keeping you stressed (and how to undo or reverse them) it's time to get even more proactive in our strategy. Here are the three biggest things you can do to boost your testosterone levels naturally.

1. Workout hard.

There was a time in my life when I decided that I wanted to put on a considerable amount of muscle in a short amount of time. In order to do this safely, I consulted with multiple personal trainers, doctors, and specialists to get their take on it. The general consensus (for me and my body type)? Lift heavy, infrequently, and increase my caloric intake.

One of the biggest benefits that I found from lifting heavier (i.e., setting personal best records on all of my major lifts) was an increased boost in my T-levels (which I also felt in my "dark sexual energy" reserves).

Focus on compound exercises (push ups, pull ups, deadlifts, and squats), lift heavier than you're used to, and push yourself a little bit past what you tell yourself you're capable of. You'll boost your testosterone levels, increase your self-esteem, and feel capable of achieving what you once told yourself was unachievable.

2. Eat cleaner, healthier food.

The food that you consume plays a major role in how you feel. Whether you feel clear, effective, and alert versus foggy, sluggish, and tired can often be traced back to your diet and nutrition.

The highest leverage places I found to start are:

Focus on eating an 80+ percent organic whole foods diet (plants, vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, ancient grains, and limited amounts of grass fed meats and wild caught fish).

Increase your fat intake (focus on healthy fats like coconut oil, avocado oil, raw nuts, and grass-fed butter).

If there was a default diet I'd recommend for people to focus on when building up their testosterone levels, it would be to focus on generally consuming more: zinc, vitamin D, vitamin C, vitamin B, flaxseed oil, nettle root, celery, cucumber, kale, spinach, radish, oatmeal (rolled oats/steel cut oats), garlic, pine nuts, pastured eggs, broccoli, blackberries and blueberries (but don't overdo it on the berries).

(Side note: specifically for testosterone levels, you especially want to watch out for vitamin deficiencies with vitamin C, D, E, and A.)

3. Use the two best natural supplements for better libido.

Hands down, the two best natural supplements for boosting your sex drive are maca powder and pine pollen. Whenever I want a boost in my sex drive (either for practical/sexual purposes, or for a boost in my creative energy, since sexual energy and creative energy are one in the same), I throw some maca powder in my morning smoothie, and I swallow three pine pollen tablets.

It almost feels like cheating. They are honestly the closest thing to a "limitless" drug that I know of in the world of natural supplements. I always have some on-hand for the weeks where I need a big creative push, or when I'm wanting to make sure I'm up for the challenge of a big weekend away with my partner.

How to have better sex...

While doing every single aforementioned step in this article will already improve your sex life, I thought I'd kick it up a notch and remind you of some of the most important preventative and proactive steps you can take in improving your sexual performance.

There are a ton of things that you can do to prepare yourself for a better sex life. You can figure out exactly what it is that you like, you can talk to your partner about your sex life more effectively, and you can strengthen your penis for more sexual confidence. But I'll keep this short and sweet.

1. Cut out pornography.

The jury is not out on this one. It's clear. Even a moderate amount of pornography consumption can mess with your mind, body, and erectile strength. Stop watching it. It's setting unrealistic expectations for men (and women) and it's pretty much the equivalent to fast food for sexual intimacy.

If you're a heavy user, ween yourself off by committing to only viewing one actress' work (no clicking around to multiple scenes with various actresses), and cutting it down to less than 20 minutes per week. If that's too easy/difficult, then you can always download a site blocker (have someone else choose the password for you and don't let them tell you what it is) to block it from your computer altogether.

2. Masturbate.

Masturbation is awesome. It's healthy, it's natural, and all of the best lovers do it. There's no better way to become an expert in your unique turn-ons (not to mention get an intimate relationship with your ejaculatory point-of-no-return) than to make masturbation a part of your regular habits.

Note: masturbating doesn't mean that you need to orgasm/ejaculate frequently. Sometimes, simply sitting/lying down and touching yourself is the goal in and of itself.

3. Connect with your breath.

I've written several deep-dives on lasting longer in bed in the past, and across the board, one of the highest leverage things that you can do to slow down your ejaculatory response is to consciously reconnect with your breath.

Not only does connecting with your breath help you last longer, it also allows you to have more powerful orgasms. Why is that? Well, when your breathing is shallow and your body is clenched, your body unconsciously gets itself into a tense, anxious, compartmentalized state. This is a fancy way of saying that your head becomes disconnected from your body.

When you're connected to your breath, you're more aware of the sexual arousal and pleasure that you're experiencing and so your orgasm (which happens in your brain, and not in your body) will be experienced as more pleasurable. Fancy that!

4. Stay present.

It doesn't matter if you can last for an hour in bed if you lack presence while doing it. Women crave presence from their sexual partners. Because, ultimately, it isn't what you do in bed as much as how you do it.

Are you just mechanically pumping away (yuck) or are you connecting to her physically, emotionally, and spiritually while opening her up with your sexual presence? Slow down, make eye contact, breathe deeply into your body, and actually BE there with her. Remember, you want to have sex with her, not at her.

5. Keep passion in the bedroom.

When it comes to sex, passion is the water that flows through the riverbed. A dry riverbed in itself isn't that exciting to look at, but when the movement and aliveness of the water starts coursing through it, it becomes another thing entirely.

Allow your lusty desire of your partner to show itself on your face. Put them where you want to put them. Have a healthy degree of selfishness let itself bleed into your arousal. For most women, they would rather have a few minutes of deeply passionate, present, exciting sex than a few hours of ho-hum, in-your-head lovemaking.

Put another way, which of these would you find more exciting: 90 seconds in a speeding Formula-1 car on a race track, or two hours of puttering along in a golf cart that maxes out at 20km/h?

While the above analogy isn't meant to give you license to only last for 90 seconds (because you can definitely do better than that), recognize that it is important (paramount, in fact) to allow your passion and presence to be a huge part of your sexual process. Allow yourself to be there, and enjoy yourself fully. Get out of your head, and into your body.

Not sure where to start? Start where ever is easiest. Or start where ever is most difficult (depending on your personality and motivation style).

If your lifestyle habits could use a tune-up, then start by optimizing your sleeping habits. Or start eating cleaner. Or go to the gym/exercise if you haven't worked up a good sweat in a few days/weeks/months.

RELATED: The Scary Way Stress Destroys Your Relationship

Sex and relationship coach Jordan Gray helps people remove their emotional blocks and maintain thriving intimate relationships. You can see more of his writing at JordanGrayConsulting.com.

This article was originally published at Jordan Gray Consulting. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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How to Quit Slacking and Start Being More Productive With Tim Ferriss

Learn how to make small changes that add up to better habits, routines, and systems.

March 18, 2019 2 min read

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What is one thing that billionaires, icons and world-class performers all have in common? They have mastered the art of productivity. Whether you want to start your own business or move up in your current career, being productive is key to reaching those goals. It sounds simple, but learning how to be productive involves making small changes that add up to better habits, routines, and systems. This online course, How Billionaires, Icons, and World-Class Performers Master Productivity with Tim Ferriss, will teach you everything you need to know.

Tim Ferriss is an early-stage tech investor + advisor and has worked with tech giants such as Uber, Facebook, Twitter, Shopify, Duolingo, and more. He's the author of three #1 New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestsellers: The 4-Hour Workweek, The 4-Hour Body, and The 4-Hour Chef. He currently runs a podcast, which focuses on deconstructing world-class performers, and it's ranked as the #1 business podcast on iTunes and was selected as 'Best of 2015' by Apple.

Over the course of seven HD video lessons, Tim will provide you with a short exercise on how to be ten times more productive. He'll also cover his personal routine and Chase Jarvis, CEO of CreativeLive will join the conversation. Together, they'll discuss their best tips for productivity, along with Tim's new book, Tools of Titans: The Tactics, Routines, and Habits of Billionaires, Icons, and World-Class Performers.

If you're ready to start changing your habits to create the life you want, jump on this course now while it's on sale! It normally retails for $29, but it's currently 65 percent off, so you can purchase it here for $9.99. With streaming and offline access, you can access the lessons anytime, anywhere and there's no expiration date or reason to rush, these lessons are yours for a lifetime.

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St. Patrick's Day Parade New York City 2019: Start Time, Map, Route Road Closures, and How to Watch Online

Thousands of people across the U.S. will be drinking green beer and showing off their Irish pride for St. Patrick's Day. There are parades, parties, and celebrations across the nation happening on Saturday, with one of the biggest parades happening in New York City.

New York City's 258th St. Patrick's Day Parade will be held on Saturday from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. and will start on 44th Street moving north on Fifth Avenue and will end on 79th Street, the Westchester Journal News reported. The parade will pass St. Patrick's Cathedral on 50th Street during its route.

Spectators can view the parade along 5th avenue from 44th street and 79th street, according to the parade website. The NYPD has posted no parking signs posted on 5th Avenue from East 42nd to East 86th Street and alongside streets. No parking will go into effect at midnight on Saturday.

"Some things you should know regarding this weekends #StPatricksDay Parade: Vehicles parked along the route & some side streets will begin being towed at 12AM on Sat. March 16th—look for NO parking signs. On parade day vehicular & pedestrian street closures begin at 10:30AM," the NYPD 19th Precinct tweeted on Friday. 

The Grand Marshal this year is Brian O'Dwyer, an activist and immigration lawyer who founded the Emerald Isle Immigration Center in Queens (EIIC), WNBC reported. The theme of this year St. Patrick's Day parade will celebrate immigration, according to WNBC.

"We know that everybody is Irish on St. Patrick's Day, and as we salute our roots in this country, we know that today's immigrants can enrich this city and this country as the Irish did before them," Chairman of the St. Patrick's Day Parade Sean Lane said in a statement to WNBC. "We could not do this without the support of thousands of volunteers and organizations that help us with fundraising and operations and we rely on the spiritual sustenance our relationship with the Archdiocese of New York brings us every year."

A live stream of the parade can be viewed on WNBC. Parade organizers and the NYC Department of Transportation have noted that the following streets will be closed for the parade:

5th Avenue between 42nd Street and 86th Street

Madison Avenue between 63rd Street and 64th Street

Madison Ave between 78th Street and 86th Street

Vanderbilt Avenue between 43rd Street and 46th Street

43rd Street between Vanderbilt Avenue and 6th Avenue

44th Street between Vanderbilt Avenue and 6th Avenue

45th Street between Vanderbilt Avenue and 6th Avenue

46th Street between Vanderbilt Avenue and 6th Avenue

47th Street between Park Avenue and 6th Avenue

48th Street between Park Avenue and 6th Avenue

62nd Street between 5th Avenue and Madison Avenue

63rd Street between 5th Avenue and Madison Avenue

64th Street between Park Avenue and 5th Avenue

72nd Street between Madison Avenue and 5th Avenue

78th Street between Madison Avenue and 5th Avenue

79th Street between 5th Avenue and Park Avenue

80th Street between 5th Avenue and Park Avenue

81st Street between 5th Avenue and Park Avenue

82nd Street between 5th Avenue and Park Avenue

83rd Street between 5th Avenue and Park Avenue

84th Street between Madison Avenue and 5th Avenue

85th Street between Madison Avenue and 5th Avenue

A marching band participates in the annual St. Patrick's Day parade along 5th Ave. on March 17, 2018 in New York City. The 258th St. Patrick's Day parade in New York City will be held on Saturday. Stephanie Keith/Getty Images

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How to start your first garden (while saving money)

When I entered horticulture 40 years ago, making a vegetable garden was free and easy. We simply grew plants we could eat in the yard just like our grandparents did. But as the years passed, I watched this simple age-old process turn into a complex and expensive alternative to store-bought produce. While I made my mistakes and learned from them, I didn't have the financial investment there is today. We just planted in the ground because we could, and it was easy.

Today, planting in ground has been left behind as raised beds take over in backyards. They must be constructed with store-bought materials, filled with store bought-soils. And they are not conducive to certain crops like corn. This turns your first garden from a love affair with shovel and spading fork into a shopping experience. That makes it expensive if you fail. That's why most folks are too discouraged to try again because they don't know any other way.

Save money, get a good workout and make your garden the old fashioned way: hand digging. So many of our American communities were built upon really good valley bottomland where soils are fertile and deep. Bringing in all that store-bought stuff to grow things is not using natural resources around and under your house. It is not sustainable to grow vegetables in wholly manufactured raised beds when they can be easily grown in-ground naturally.

Most residential vegetable gardens can be made in a weekend with nothing more than a strong back and hand tools. Start by removing all the grass and weeds in the area you've designated where it gets full sun much of the day. Next, use a fork or shovel to turn over the soil one shovel-full at a time. It's slow and tedious, but fun if there are two of you working from opposite ends.

While the ground is open, add some nutrition. Composted steer manure is the cheapest soil conditioner out there, and one of the best. You can't use too much. It will bring in microbes and micronutrients that may be lacking, as well as organic matter. Plus, there's something different about manures that offers more immediate fertility, which is why it's used to cover newly sown lawn seed.

Work the manure in as you use the iron rake to pulverize clods, remove sticks and roots and rocks. Your goal is a smooth, soft surface to accept seeds and seedlings.

This method takes much of the guesswork out of a first garden. It's hand-watered, as folks have done for a century here, and it will produce like gangbusters. Without beds to restrain you, the space can be fortified and tilled year after year for a large family garden. Maybe its size grows unhindered by boundaries. Above all, you can rearrange your garden each year for crop rotation, which is vital to maintaining soil fertility overall.

Is this an organic garden? That's up to you. It's OK to be a hybrid gardener. That means we are aware of the all-organic ideal, but not consumed by it. We prefer organic products when we have the choice. This frees you of the fear of making a mistake that irreparably harms the soil or the garden with the wrong thing. Truth is, it's not that critical. Your garden comes from nature, not Home Depot. In nature, very little is absolute. It's more important for you to enjoy the food than to get overwhelmed with the nuances of organic gardening in potting soils in relatively tiny boxes.

Learn the basics and the rest takes care of itself, said an old mentor. Before you can understand the science of true organic gardening, you must learn to garden first. Trying to do both at the same time leads to failure and discouragement. Let's bust out of labels and get back to the basics so everyone can find success the first time without taking a course.

———

Maureen Gilmer is an author, horticulturist and landscape designer. Learn more at www.MoPlants.com

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Rays Journal: Tommy Pham stresses urgency to start season

FORT MYERS — Tommy Pham is set to return to the outfield Monday with his throwing shoulder properly strengthened and his long list of personal spring training boxes — from controlling the strike zone at the plate to taking advantage of errant throws in moving up a base — close to being all checked off.

He also wants to make sure his Rays team is ready to open a season of grand aspirations coming off last year's unexpected 90 wins.

Specifically right from the start as they host 2018 playoff qualifiers Houston and Colorado, then head to San Francisco to open a three-city road trip.

[ RELATED: Why we can't all relate to Tommy Pham's fire ]

"I would say the first 10 games are crucial because you can ride that wave for a little bit,'' Pham said before Sunday's 3-2 loss to the Red Sox. "As a member of this team and a guy with a little bit more service time, I want to make sure everyone understands that importance because we open up with a pretty tough schedule …

"There's no surprise in this league. I think that's what everyone in this locker room has to understand — we're not going to walk up on someone any more. Teams know us. They know we're young and they know that we're good. We're going to have to bring it because they're coming for us now. I think when everyone understands that we'll be better off.''

The Rays got off to a miserable start last year, losing 12 of their 15, including eight straight after their opening day win, and didn't get over .500 again until May 29. Pham joined the Rays in trade from St. Louis on July 31, and after that they went 36-19.

D-Robbed

Versatile infielder Daniel Robertson, playing third on Sunday, had the play of the day, diving to his right to spear a line drive with two on and no out in the second. "It's always fun to make a play like that,'' he said. "It definitely felt good. Just focusing on seeing the ball, as dumb it sounds, defensively and offensively.'' Manager Kevin Cash called it a "tremendous play we've grown accustomed to seeing out of him.'' Robertson has spent most of the spring at second base and shortstop, and said there is a slight acclimation period to being comfortable at each position. "It's not an easy task,'' he said. "Obviously (taking) ground balls you can only replicate it so much, but seeing the ball off the bat in game action definitely helps a lot to see the angles.''

Game details

The Rays (10-11-2) led 2-1 in the eighth before relief prospect Colin Poche, pitching the day after being reassigned, continued his rough spring allowing three hits and two runs. … Hunter Wood and Emilio Pagan both had solid outings in what may be a battle for a final bullpen spot. "Good thing we've got another 10 days or so to decide,'' Cash said. … Cole Sulser, acquired from Cleveland with Yandy Diaz, continued his impressive spring with a fifth scoreless outing, striking out J. D. Martinez in posting nine Ks and no walks over 5 1/3 innings. "The slider's a weapon,'' Cash said. "Very, very interesting guy.'' … Cash also noted the solid spring by lefty Hoby Milner. … The Rays had only four hits. … Ex-Ray David Price was slated to start for Boston but called in sick.

Spring things

* Third baseman Matt Duffy felt good in taking ground balls and batting practice swings in Port Charlotte in showing continued progress with his left hamstring, Cash said, but likely won't play in a game until Thursday, which would be a week before opening day. Duffy has played in just one on Feb. 28 so far, but is optimistic of being ready for the March 28 opener.

* Top relievers Jose Alvarado, Diego Castillo and Chaz Roe were slated for a sim game in Port Charlotte Sunday rather than facing the rival Red Sox.

* Charlie Morton will make the start Monday in Port Charlotte against his former Pirates mates, and Tyler Glasnow on Tuesday in Tampa vs. the Yankees.

[ RELATED: Everyone has a Charlie Morton story ]

* Before Monday's pre-game work, Rays players will attend MLB's annual presentation on domestic violence issues.

* For St. Patrick's Day Sunday, the Rays wore white hats with a green bill, burst and shamrock, and some wore green-striped socks.

Quote of the day

"I'm throwing like KK right now. If you guys see my arm you'd think KK threw that ball.'' — Outfielder Tommy Pham, using teammate Kevin Kiermaier as a benchmark for how good his arm feels after a shoulder strengthening program.

Contact Marc Topkin at [email protected]. Follow @TBTimes_Rays.

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Why (and how) to start a prayer journal today

Bullet journals, vision boards, New Year's Resolutions… it seems everyone swears by a different way to figure out what you want out of life and manifest it into existence. Yes, I am here to offer you yet another one. You're welcome.

An important part of personal development is to keep track of your progress. For anyone who is trying to reach a goal or make significant changes to their lifestyle, setting milestones and acknowledging when you've hit them not only gives you tangible evidence of your progress, it motivates you to keep going. As any project manager, lifestyle guru or Instagram entrepreneur will tell you, there are hundreds of different ways to make sure you meet your goals but finding the one that works for you is half the work in itself.

A while ago, I wrote about the power of prayer. Prayer, for me, means a lot more than communicating with an all powerful being; it's taking time out of the day to meditate on your relationship with the world around you- with both the things we can and can't understand. In this way, prayer reveals our true desires and our fears: the things that make us, us. To some, it is a ritual from childhood, kneeling on the floor before bedtime and taking time to be thankful for one's blessings. For others, it's a practice reserved for the most desperate of times, all other options have been exhausted. I am proposing an alternative: prayer, when documented and revisited, can be a journal, mood diary, vision board and more. Most importantly, it can help you make better sense of who you are and where to focus your energy.

A couple of months ago, I started writing down my prayers in a book. This was for a few reasons, the most important of which being I wanted to keep track of what I was asking God for so that if it did come to be I could acknowledge and be thankful for it. For whatever reason (perhaps because I am a Pisces?), I am someone who's emotions change both frequently and drastically, so when it comes to what I want out of life, the answer is never the same for too long. Because of this, by the time any of my prayers come to fruition, there is no acknowledgement because I am already onto wanting 'the next thing'. Writing down my prayers not only allows me to keep tabs on my recurring wishes (and thus differentiate what I really want from fleeting desires) it also means I can look back and see and be grateful for the ones that were granted.

Since beginning my prayer journal I have felt so many benefits, and I now have a system that I am confident in sharing with people who, like me, have a lot of ambitions and expectations for themselves which they can't always handle well. If you struggle with irrational feelings of disappointment, anxiety or even guilt over wanting to see changes in yourself or your life that never seem to come to be, a prayer journal is one way to separate the rational thoughts from the unfair ones.

Have I convinced you? Here is one way to start a prayer journal today.

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Theranos, Lean Start Ups and How to Alienate Customers

Start ups are hard. When my mind prematurely wanders off to success I have to stop myself and focus on my product and service.  I do know what my values are and what I hope to achieve and I am committed to making the invoice processing system in the UK paperless and smooth. I know my goods and service inside and out, I have a solid grasp of my market and I know a few emerging industry secrets. I aim to build my company through cautious innovation and being the absolute best I can be in existing invoice solutions. Alongside these lofty goals, let's face it, I do want to grow my fledgling company and make, dare I say it, money.

In some corners of the start up community, this though borders on sacrilegious. Soaked in the ideology of Silicon Valley, start ups throughout seem to have to pretend to be infinitely wealthy and you'd be forgiven for thinking you don't even have to have a product or service on offer. Just say you're an entrepreneur or a founder or an innovator and you're on your way!

The start up guru Eric Ries (author of bestselling The Lean Start up) tell us start ups need such things as: minimal viable product, lean thinking, radical accounting, actionable metrics and other inane counter-intuitive concepts. According to Ries the entrepreneurial spirit in today's world should aim to make a shoddy minimal viable product and then alienate see what customers think through feedback validated learning and then change pivot or continue persevere accordingly. This thinking has become a movement within the start up community and I'm steering wEll clear of it.

If you look at the hugely successful youtuber "Angry Joe" and his review of DICE's Battlefield series of video games you'll get a good idea of how MVP works: A Battlefield iteration will be released that is buggy, crashes the computer and barely works. Angry Joe and his colleagues then entertainingly explain just how gameplay, the crashes and bugs are.  However within their rant is what they to see changed. Over the following months the bugs are ironed out and DICE produce updates, add-ons and premium services with new features that consumers pay for. It's been a successful business model for some time. Until recently. Over the past two iterations of the video game series we are starting to see a backlash. Their recent Battlefield 5 sales have been reported as weak. Both were released as MVPs and DICE has started to take a strong hit on these products. The more you alienate your customers with shoddy releases MVPs the more they're going to get unhappy. This all might be harmless when dealing with the bread and butter of Silicon Vallley i.e. software but when we run into areas with importance such as say health we have an issue.

Theranos is prime example of lean start up thinking. They declared they were revolutionising healthcare and founder, Elizabeth Holmes, unashamedly declared she was going to change the planet. She believed as did everyone around her she was the next Steve Jobs. The product she invented was said to be able to do a blood test with a few drops of blood. A cheaper, cleaner and more efficient way of doing blood tests is a panacea to the pharmaceutical industry - and everyone bought into it. At its height Theranos was worth around $9 billion making the wonder kid founder one of Silicon Valley's youngest self-made billionaires. It was too good to be true. The blood tests were MVPs and prematurely released at the expense of patients who had non-existent conditions diagnosed or existent conditions ignored. Examples of recovered cancer patients receiving blood tests indicating that their cancer had returned are now well known. All thanks to bringing out a MVP that simply did not work. The feedback alienation validated learning she received were blood tests that clinicians and patients were using to see if they were sick. On being exposed, by John Carreyrou of the Wall Street Journal Elizabeth Holmes did not come clean but instead decided to pivot by launching a new product.

This is my concern about MVPs and lean thinking – until you actually have your goods or services settled you are basically lying to consumers. Learning from your mistakes is fine but those mistakes should never be put on the shoulders of consumers being used as guinea pigs.

Elizabeth Holmes has gone from being a multi-billionaire to being worth zero, her investors are out $700 million, her reputation is in tatters and she is now facing the rest of her life in jail. John Carreyrou's book of Theramos' story has become a best seller and is soon to be made into a feature film with Jennifer Lawrence as Elizabeth Holmes.

Although Theranos might be an extreme example it is relevant to financial technology start ups which must continually innovate, and it's tempting to buy into the Silicon Valley ideology of lean thinking. It is essential, however, with financial technology not to set out to deceive, or to provide shoddy products. There's too much at stake for both consumers and yourself. There's also clear guidelines set up for us to follow and strict government legislation about procedures to follow.

Any start up and indeed established company must learn and listen to customers but that learning must not be through unethical business practices. This is what transparent and active research is for. In the end it boils down to providing excellent customer service and being transparent in providing that for our customers. This should particularly be the case when we are dealing with the fruits of their labours or the public purse.

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How to Start a Bullet Journal

If you've even glanced at Instagram or Pinterest over the past year, you've probably peeped the new grammable craze sweeping social media: Bullet Journals.

What is Bullet Journaling?

Before we get started, it's important to first define bullet journaling.

Bullet Journaling is a super fun journaling system created by Ryder Carroll that will seriously transform the way you organize your life. Unlike your regular agenda, a bullet journal doesn't have any of the pre-laid-out boxes and sections you're used to. It's just a regular journal (with a dot grid) that you customize in whatever way works best for you.

Here are the basic steps to setting up your own bullet journal!

Make an Index

The index, which takes up the first few pages of your journal, is where you'll keep track of the page numbers of all the things that go in your bullet journal, from you daily to-do lists to your Homecoming meeting notes.

Check out this adorable notebook, which is perfect for bullet journaling:

Hardcover Medium Dotted Journal

Leuchtturm1917 amazon.com

$19.95

Key

The key details the signifiers you'll use to differentiate everything you're writing in your journal, like a bullet point for a task, a circle for an event, and a dash for a note.

Future Log

The future log is where you can look at the next six months of your life at a glance. In this section, you're not tracking anything you want to do in the immediate future, but rather the things you want to get done at some point down the road.

Make your bullet journal beautiful with these gel pens:

Petite Point Gel Pen Set

urbanoutfitters.com

$16.00

Monthly

The monthly is a bird's-eye-view of your current month. In this spread, you write down all the things that you have planned this month along with the tasks and goals you want to get done throughout the month. This spread will serve as a reference throughout the month so that you can stay organized daily.

Daily

The daily log is where you track your day-to-day tasks as you go.

Collections

Collections are where you can have the most fun in your bullet journal — because you don't always want to just write down all your tasks and goals. Sometimes you just want to track the movies and books you want to get through this year or track your mood throughout the year!

Customize your journal with some fun stickers:

Deluxe Agenda Sticker Set

Noelle Devoe Entertainment Editor When I'm not holed up in my room going on a completely unproductive Netflix binge or Tumblr stalking Timothée Chalomet, I'm searching for awesome celeb news stories that Seventeen readers will love!

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How to Start a Prayer Journal

"My heart is stirred by a noble theme as I recite my verses for the king; my tongue is the pen of a skillful writer" (Psalm 45:1).

Some of the most profound insights and experiences of life come through prayer journaling. God wants to speak and give us insights into life. Journaling brings shape and order to everything that we do. I have been keeping a prayer journal for many years, and it helps keep my life in order and my priorities right. It has been an important discipline in my prayer life, helping me to remember what God has done.

"Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always. Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles and the judgments he pronounced" (1 Chronicles 16:11-12).

Prayer journaling is a way to dialogue with God daily, so that we can remember what and how God is speaking to us. Here are some key ways to do it:

Begin to write - There are so many ways you can journal. God will give you creativity. Some examples are prayers, poetry, your dreams, goals, burdens, delights, joys, Scripture, songs, letters, or whatever God is saying to you.

Journal regularly but not out of duty - You may journal daily, weekly, or as often as you like. It is really up to you. It is important not to look at prayer journaling as a heavy burden or a duty. It's a friend and will help you in life rather than weigh you down with another responsibility.

Record prayer requests and date them - You can look back at how God answered your prayers. This will build your faith in prayer. It will also remind you of requests that need more intercession.  

Record God's answers to your prayers - My husband recorded the dates of answered prayer while living overseas, and he saw how faithfully God answered his prayer requests. It is a testimony of God's goodness.

Watch for the progress you are making in your spiritual life - I always look back in my prayer journals and see how I develop spiritually from year to year. It helps me so much to see spiritual progress in my life and how God is working.

Write out what God is saying to you - This is important so that you can look at your journal during the quiet seasons in your spiritual life. Ask yourself, "How is God personally revealing Himself to me?" 

Write out key Bible verses that speak to you during times of prayer - God will guide and help you in important times of decision-making by using Scripture. 

Prayer journaling will help you to see real growth in your life because you are bringing to God the things that concern you. Through journaling, you will see your life more clearly through God's eyes. He has so much to say when we give Him time and seek His face. It's important to write it down and not miss out on the wisdom He wants to share with us. 

I believe that you will find it to be an irreplaceable blessing in your prayer and devotional life.  

How to Prayer Journal Video

This is an 7-minute training that will help you learn key ways to prayer journal. Watch the video called: How to Prayer Journal. 

Subscribe: The Intercessors Arise Prayer Channel

Subscribe: Debbie Przybylski Prayer Channel

"I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds. Your ways, O God, are holy" (Psalm 77:11-13a).

Debbie Przybylski

Intercessors Arise International

International House of Prayer Kansas City (IHOPKC)

www.intercessorsarise.org

Photo courtesy: ©Thinkstock/apichon_tee

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How to Begin Journaling for Stress Relief

The therapeutic benefits of journaling have been scientifically proven. Journaling can be an effective tool for stress management, the processing of difficult emotions, and creating personal growth. It has also been linked to important health benefits like decreasing the symptoms of asthma, arthritis, and other health conditions, increasing cognitive functioning, increasing the immune system, and counteracting the negative effects of stress.

If you were curious about it, but aren't quite sure where/how to start, read on for a few tips to help you get started.

Buy a Journal

This seems like the obvious first step. However, what kind of a journal you purchase is important. You can choose from the most beautiful blank books you can find, to a more functional notebook, or your computer. If you go with the blank book option, you can decide between lined or blank pages, with a variety of pens. Use your book to reflect your creativity, or go with functionality first.

It's all up to you and your tastes. Just go with something you feel comfortable with.

Set Aside Time

One of the most difficult aspects of journaling is not the journaling itself, but finding time to write. It's important to block off about twenty minutes each day to write, but if you find it difficult to set aside that much time, especially in the beginning, even taking five minutes to jot down a few ideas is better than waiting until you have the full twenty — that could make the difference between forming a habit and merely the memory of when you wanted to create this new habit.

Many people prefer to write in the morning as a way to start their day, or before bed as a way to reflect upon and process the day's events. However, if your lunch break or some other time is the only window you have, take the time whenever you can get it!

Begin Writing

Just start. Don't think about what to say; just begin writing and the words will come. However, if they don't come automatically, having some ideas to prompt you can get your fingers moving. If you need some help getting started, here are some topics to begin the process:

The best and worst days of your life

If you could have three wishes…

Your possible purpose in life

Your childhood memories and surrounding feelings

Where you'd like to be in two years

Your dreams/hopes/fears

What was important to you five years ago, and what's important to you now

What are you grateful for? You might want to start with just one thing, big or small

What aspect(s) of your life need improving

How is your mental/physical/emotional health

What are some challenges you are dealing with at the moment

Best/Worst case scenario

Write about Thoughts and Feelings

As you write, don't just vent negative emotions or catalog events; write about your feelings, but also your thoughts surrounding emotional events. Research shows much greater benefits from journaling when participants write about emotional issues from a mental and emotional framework. Relive events emotionally, try to construct solutions and find the lesson(s) learned. Using both aspects of yourself helps you process the event, be more constructive (not reactive), and find solutions to lingering problems.  

Keep Your Journal Private

If you're worried that someone else may read your journal, you're much more likely to self-censor, and you won't achieve the same benefits from writing. To prevent the worry and maximize journaling effectiveness, you can either get a book that locks or keep your book in a locked or hidden place. If using a computer, you can password-protect your journal so you'll feel safe when you write.

Additional Tips:

Try to write each day.

Writing for at least 20 minutes is ideal, but if you only have 5 minutes, write for 5.

If you skip a day or 3, just keep writing when you can. Don't let a few days of skipping discourage you from continuing to write in your journal.

Don't worry about neatness or even grammar. Just getting your thoughts and feelings on paper is more important than perfection.

Try not to self-censor; let go of "shoulds", and just write what comes.

In the end of the day, all you will really need is a journal, an open and honest mind/heart, a pen or a computer, and a few minutes of quiet privacy each day. Sounds like a no brainer since it's cost effective, a smart investment for your sanity/mental health, and not to mention an easy nonpharmacological way to beat bouts of anxiety.

References:

Anderson, C.M., & Mesrobian Maccurdy, M. (1999). Writing and Healing: Toward an Informed Practice. Urbana, IL: National Council of Teachers of English.

Ullrich, P.M., & Lutgendorf, S.K. (2002). Journaling About Stressful Events: Effects of Cognitive Processing and Emotional Expression. Annals of Behavioral Medicine, 24(3): 244-50.

How to Begin Journaling for Stress Relief */ ]]>Related Articles

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How to create a data-driven culture for growing your business

[unable to retrieve full-text content]For some, it won't seem natural. While you don't need everyone's buy-in to start changing the culture, you do need the key stakeholders to get on board. It's very important that the commitment to data ...

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